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for it is the beginning of always
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| wow;; its been awhile |
[ | |
11/12/06 - 10:18 pm
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| [ |
mood |
| |
 hot |
] |
| [ |
music |
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nothing |
] |
wow;;
thats all i can really say to being this. iread my last entry and was like damnn its been awhile. haha. im a freaking senior now and i dont deal with a lot of the drama ive been dealing with b4.
i live my life to the fullestt
and i know how to party like a rockstar :D
but anyways ill give up a big update later. i dont know if im going to be able to keep this up but it sure is worth a try. :D well friday-- on the way home from school someone rear ended me! first wreck that WAS NOT, my fault. wow i know. lol but then i came home got ready with my girls then me and mitch got into a HUGEEEE fight and we ended up breaking up. yeah it was crazyy i could not stop crying. then we went to angies and we decided to leave cause of the drama thing with mitch and all that. lamee. i know. so we left and mitch calls like we're fucking normal and we talk and we just decided to have ppl over my house. soo i had a bunch of ppl over instead of laying around like a blum all night. [[me, mitch, brad, ran, kris, chels, ash, kayleigh, kasey, aj, cam (but he left early), lindsay cahill & katlin (they left early too), troy, sarah, tara, katie, chris]] theres prolly more and im forgetting some but oh well. and then that was a lot of fun. ran got sick tho i didnt spend anytime with her. but i had a lot of fun all in all. :D saturday was a chill day for sure i got sick in the am so i couldnt go to western;; didnt wanna be throwing up out the car window. fuck that. haha. so i stayed home and we had ppl over again but it was much less and we chilled just played the usual-- flip cup, zoomie zoomie, and beer pong. it was fun. me and ran kicked ass. :D suck it bitches. [[me, mitch, brad, kasey, ran, kris, sarah, aj, cambron, josh, chris]] then i woke up this morning and did homework and laundry all day. suxed and i found out that my aim profile/screen name got deleted. wtf? i know so i had to remake a new one and it def isnt as good.
well ima go downstairs with mitch now. oh yes i must tell you all about this one bitch later named amanda. fuckkk. lol i hate bitches dont you?? well im out guyss
peacee. ♥
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| the balancing act |
[ | |
11/7/05 - 1:35 pm
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| [ |
mood |
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 anxious |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
michelle branch - goodbye to you |
] |
ok. i suck at live journaling. oh well anyway so my weekend was pretty interesting. right now im just looking around online on dance boards and things of that sort. im really pumped about getting into shape and all this. so im trying to figure everything out. i think im going to practice by myself for awhile just perfecting my skills. then im going to have my mom call melissa i think, i was thinking about tiffany but i bet she is really really busy. so then if melissa isnt at the studio anymore i dont know i will prolly just have my mom ask for another teachers that can just work with me on my abilities. so, basically i need to balance my time, and set up lists of things to do, so i get everything done. here goes my lists. :P
the balancing act
1.) dance team practice
2.) working times
3.) homework from all my classes
4.) yearbook stories and drama
5.) working out and personal practices
6.) clean up around house aka make mom happy
7.) living like a teenager
so this is going to be pretty interesting. okay this is my weekly schedule. Monday - write my review, read huck finn, clean around the house, and maybe work my on-call. Tuesday - (no school) get up early and go to the gym (thats going to take courage) clean up some more, go to the mall and shop for a few. just pretty much make sure to work out. Wednesday - uhm, im not sure yet if im going to go to church. i might, if kayla goes then i prolly will since i havent seen her in forever. otherwise i have dance practice and then ill come home shower yada yada do all my homework before spending time with mitch. Thursday - dance team practice (if not a hard practice and not much homework then go to the gym.) if i have a lot of homework then go back home and do homework. Friday - i think mitch's sister is coming down which means they will be spending time together, so then idk what ill do i think ima go to the gym afterschool or something im not quite sure yet. who really knows. so right now im just really enthustic (sp lol) but i dont know i really have a lot on my plate right now. i dont know how im going to do this. :\ oh well im staying positive.
spepanie
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[ | |
11/3/05 - 10:36 pm
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| [ |
mood |
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worn out |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
britney spears mega mix |
] |
im trying to be a good live journaler and write deep meaningful crap about my life. haha sounds so awesome. uh well here goes
school - yeah that jus kills me. i stress over school all the effing time and it really does control this part of my life (shouldnt it in a sense) well yeah i hate mrs bryants class unless i just go get a penis im screwd lol thomas and bri..ergh its just plan frusterating. :\
dance - its fun i love it, we're starting to work harder which is cool. i need to start getting in shape if im even thinking about dancing in college which i would really really like to do like i can not picture myself not dancing, its my relief. uh what else so im going to try and work really hard at practice and then go to the gym on other days. and then i think ima try and get private coaching from melissa or someone cause that would really increase my chances of making a college dance team.
work - oh i love it. so much fun. going to work is just a blast. and i love to get to hang out with all my friends at work. like chan, pheobe, and catherine plus all my super cool managers! but oMg stephanie is leaving to go to the summit, which is depressing. she is soo awesome. uh.. yeah i love work!! :D
opposite sex - me and mitch = almost perfect (enough said) :D lol i love it. hes my strong hold.
friends - uh, always touchy. um but ive gotten really close to brooke, alex, lindz, alex, and jessica (wola) we all hang out pretty much every weekend and then during the week to. their all soo awesome i love them loads. and then me and jenn are conversating i guess you could say. its just really werid to walk next to her in the hall and say nothing at all.. so ima try and work on that. uh brianna cracks me up and just brightens my day, makes it funny again. uh we chill alot to like me her and thomas - dallas has been thrown in the mix too. i love that kid. emily we're cool, not as cool but i still love her loads and i feel like i can tell her loads even when shes not listening. :\ lol uh allison - gosh i love love love this girl. she rocks my socks like every morning now we get to chill again - thank goodness - i was having withdraws. my kayla (whom i happen to be speaking to at this very moment) well i never get to see her really cause i dont get to go to church much because of work, so that sucks but i mean i still love her with all my heart and miss her loads :D and last but not least, lizzy. how could i ever mention my friends and not say lizzy. uh well we havent talking in forever and five days so i would really really love to call her and chill like me her mitch and matt and then just me and her. i really miss the friendship that we had. high school sucks when it splits you up like at. :'(
well i am really really tired. like about to fall over and i still havent finished my hwk. oh this sucks lol! oh well i will really try and write in here more often i miss it.
love <3 always _ steph
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| long time no see.. |
[ | |
11/2/05 - 4:30 pm
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| [ |
mood |
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 rushed |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
ims bringing in backround |
] |
wow, i have not wrote in this thing in sooo long! oh how i miss it! :D well i cant write to much because i have to go get ready for work! i actually have to work on a school night, wow this is a 1st time thing! i haveto leave in 15 min. well to sum up my life right now.. i love it, friends = awesome! i love the wola!! :D we're soo pimp. lol ill write more later but whoa life is pretty effing sweeet right now! :D ill holla at ya lata! peace
<3 stephanie - spepanie
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| SOTY rocks my effing socks.. - me |
[ | |
10/17/05 - 12:15 am
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| [ |
mood |
| |
 drained |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
nothing |
] |
okay so today is mine and mitch's SIX MONTH! :D :D lol which is pretty awesome in itself. well i havent wrote in here for a long time but i thought i would write about my night.. mitch had a suprise for me for our six month.. he took me to the story of the year concert. oh man i loved it. i love their music. i havent got their new album yet but im going to tomorrow. so i am really happy right now, sept i had to work but even that was fun! i loved it. things are pretty good right now.. ;P
dude i can not wait til this friday it's RIDGE VS BUTLER GAME and we're gunna KICK THEM BEARS ASS.. (hopefully) i have faith in our football game. and the BEST part of the day is.. I GET EFFING PAID! ive already started getting mitch's bday presents so that is exciting and i need money to buy it! :D
welp me and mitch are going to go so sleep.. i am beat. cyall lata! :P
love <3 always_steph
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| "28-21!!" -brooke |
[ | |
10/8/05 - 9:49 am
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| [ |
mood |
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motivated |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
coach carter |
] |
wow, i haven't updated in a really long time! haha well i don't know what to really write about. uh wednesday night was a lot of fun, people were really excited to see me, others game me shitty looks but thats what i expect when i come to shively. lol oh well thursday uh dont really remember what happened, oh yeah we had practice til like 5 and then me and bri (not brianna lol) went to macdonalds and then went to the boys soccer game. but i left early to go tanning and then i came back home. well i was soo incredibly pumped about performing friday but it was raining which sucked really really bad! so we ended up not performing, me and mitch didnt go to homecoming either and thats just a long story but oh well now everything is okay i guess, hes at work right now. and im chillin at home im watching coach carter and it makes me want to go work out! haha so i called up brooke and was like lets go to the gym but she can't long story about her car, so that sucks but i think im going to go run around the neighborhood and then take a shower then get dressed and go to the baseball game with brooke and watch kris then i gotta pick up mitch and then i have to work from like 5:30-10.. sucks but oh well i got my check yesterday and it was over 100! yeah boy so i was really pumped, sunday i cant work im doing all my cultural stuff for the day! :D but oh well i feel really outta it right now, so much drama. :D oh well. oh gosh last night we played stx.. and did we get "killed" NO! the score was 28-21 and we should have tied! oh i was soo proud of my panthers! how exciting, i sure did think so. i mean we were underestamited. i know shain partied last night! haha but anyways tyler, pat, and thomas (one of those prolly being bri) called me last night from like 12:45-3 and i couldnt answer (phone was upstairs i was downstairs) so they prolly wanted me to come party with them but who knows for sure!? but im out-off to go run. ill write more later. peace homes!
love <3 always_stephanie
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| i gOt mY eFfiN cAr.. YEAH.. :D :D :D |
[ | |
10/4/05 - 10:17 pm
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| [ |
mood |
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 ecstatic |
] |
| [ |
music |
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tv in backround |
] |
me and robert were talking about me and coming to church this wednesday - heres the convo
Rej389 (10:10:35 PM): hey incase ur not expectin it ur gonna get some weird looks if u do come tomorow
br0k3n te4rs x3 (10:10:42 PM): why?
Rej389 (10:11:12 PM): because alot of ppl think u juss quit comin
br0k3n te4rs x3 (10:11:35 PM): no i have been busy out the ass
br0k3n te4rs x3 (10:11:47 PM): so they are gunna resent me? wtf.. its soo messed up
Rej389 (10:11:59 PM): thats the main reason the rest is the stupid shit thats always goin on at shively
br0k3n te4rs x3 (10:12:22 PM): yeah.. what stupid shit do you know of
Rej389 (10:13:09 PM): not really alot i juss here a couple of ppl complainin bout stuff but i stay out of it as much as possible
br0k3n te4rs x3 (10:13:28 PM): complaining about wat?
br0k3n te4rs x3 (10:13:29 PM): lol
br0k3n te4rs x3 (10:13:35 PM): i need the "shively drama update"
Rej389 (10:14:49 PM): ok with the ppl i tlk to some think u quit comin but other than that all ive really heard bout u was that u had a wild weekend a couple weeks ago
br0k3n te4rs x3 (10:15:24 PM): .. ergh i dont know if i even want to go.. if there is drama then i will striaght up walk out and leave
Rej389 (10:15:25 PM): alot of ppl think its funny that kayla is goin out with casey but thats dying down
br0k3n te4rs x3 (10:15:30 PM): yeah
Rej389 (10:16:33 PM): dont leave the only reason ppl say stuff it to annoy u juss let it go and try and ignore it
br0k3n te4rs x3 (10:16:51 PM): yeah but im really bad at that.. :\
and then it went on from there. yeah that is soo fucked up.. i hate it really bad. yeah i did have a "wild weekend" but it aint none of their buisness. and i didnt just stop coming sorry but i work only on weekends and they ALWAYS have me working the early shift when i clean the effing store, i think I would know.. ergh just had to let that off my chest.
I GOT MY EFFING CAR.. AND I LOVE IT.. haha i really do. i went and got brianna and we were like this is soo pimp. whoa and then she came over and worked on our "cultural experience" haha hilarious.. "egyptians yada yada at 12:00 we was there" oh that is funny!! but now im just chilling at the house. tomorrow is the first day i drive to school. me and brooke are gunna meet up early cause we're both getting there early.. im soo excited. YAY well i have to go take a shower, maybe ill write more later!
<3 stephanie
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[ | |
10/2/05 - 11:28 pm
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| [ |
mood |
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 depressed |
] |
| [ |
music |
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there go-singin in the rain mix.. LAWL |
] |
life right now is tough.. plain and simple there is no other way to put it. im dealing with a battle, internally and i dont know if im going to win.
work: oh man, i have gotten so many hours in and it makes me happy but it really stresses me out. i dont feel like i have any time what so ever. like trea asked me to work this week after dance and i was like yeah i should be able to do that with a car and everything so this wednesday and thursday i am on call 5:30-10.. man. i need to talk to him to see if i can get off at 9, cause i wont be able to work til ten thats school all day then dance till 4:45ish then work til 10 and not get home til like 10:45.. with a load of hwk to do and all that other crap. whoa.. lol oh well i am making me some much needed money.
school: i really like do not even want to get on this topic-its depressing. i am actually doing better in english i pulled my grade up tremendsely (sp) so thats good - yearbook is stressing me out like nothing. brittany wants to leave but im like begging her not to leave me alone with them, i mean i cant take it. ahh lol uh i dont know what else but its good that im stressed cause i have a shitload to write about in my journal.. haha
dance team: yeah i LOVE it more than anything now cause i feel like me alex alex jess linds and all them have a outside relationship outside of dance and school.. lol we'll make a name soon. so but we have a game friday and we dont have a effing routine!! WTF lol then next friday we're having a school dance to raise money.. then we have dance clinic coming up really really soon. uh what drama is ahead for us.
car & liscene = freedom: HELLZ YEAH! i get my car on tuesday so yay yay.. lol i am soo pumped! i can not wait and then this friday is manual's homecoming so ill get to drive!! :D :D YEAHH..
me and mitch: oh i dont really want to talk about it.. its drama but i know we will make it through.. this is really the internal battle i am dealing with. GRR i just want to scream.. but my mom is yelling at me so i need to go to bed! love stephanie
here are some EFFING AWESOME quotes - credit em baby!
if you don't like me, there`s nothing i can do.
here`s a newsflash sweetie: i don't live to
please you.
I'm not stupid [ I just lack common sense] I'm not miss popularity [I just have a lot of friends] I don't like my boyfriend [I love him] I don't ignore you [I just don't give a shit] I'm not a bitch [I'm just honest] I'm not mean [your just weak] I'm not insecure (actually i am insecure-im both of these!) [I just don't trust people] So are you sure you can handle all this?!?!?
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| "can i borrow a dollar six!?!" mel |
[ | |
10/1/05 - 3:27 am
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| [ |
mood |
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 bitchy |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
silence |
] |
this weekend so far has been crazy. well thursday night.. uh well me allison brianna and tiffanie decided to go to the prp male game. so we get there and its halftime! lol oh well to make a long story short me and mitch got into it and ended up breakin up. so i was really upset so we all go up the the spot and chill dude i swear like effing 25-30 ppl were there, a bunch of butler girls and all kindsa ppl srs from last year and all this. well it was a lot of fun. then around 1ish me tiffanie and brianna went with some ghetto guys to go get tiffs car and so we get to his house and we're chilling, well i am not having fun in teh least so i call alex and get her tim miller and alex to come get me. by this time jess and brooke had gone back to alex's house to sleep. so we're riding around we go on another beer run and then we go get food. so then we go back up to the spot to wake up mel, john, and rob. well me alex and miller are in the back sleeping and alex and tim are trying to wake them up-not working to well. so we leave and take miller home. eisner is fucked up so we kinda sorta help him as much as we could and then we leave. so then we go bak to the spot and this time they actually wake up-their po'd well we was like we came and got you all and they were like you fucker! bullshit and all this. so then we go to macdonalds its me and alex in the front and john alex mel and rob in the back. rob is cracking me and alex up soo hard. it was hilarious. so then we have the funniest time at macdonalds-mel.. whoa effing hilarious. lol so then we finally leave and go take mel, rob and john back to tims and then we all go to alex's by this time its like 4:45 and then we finally go to bed.
saturday well me tiffanie and brianna woke up around 9 or 10ish and left. they took me to brads house and i laid with mitch all day and slept. then around 3 we come back up to my house to clean. we get to spend time together before the offical break. but then i cant go long without seeing him so i should see him like tomorrow. well then i go and get ready for the game (stx manual) so me and brianna go to the game, we get there at the end of the 4th and no one is there. but guess who i saw.. LIZZY oh man the love of my life and so much more! :D so then we leave and we go get pat nick evan brooke and kayla and then we go back to the spot and it was a lot of running tonight really. so it was like 2 before we actually left and then we went to brads for like a minute which pissed me off cause i wanted to spend time with mitch-fucking retarted. oh well but im really tired and i have to drive brianna home at like 6.. lol ill cyall laters
oh yeah i get my car on effing TUESDAY! oh yeah baby. i LOVE IT! :D mwah (you might have a good time but we party harder! lol to all my girls - we'll figure it out soon.. haha!!)
love stephanie kathleen
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| "what about a black and white affair? laugna beach style!" - me |
[ | |
9/28/05 - 8:41 pm
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| [ |
mood |
| |
 energetic |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
so you think you can dance |
] |
today was ..interesting. a very up down sort of day! well allison was late today so we hadto literally run to first period which was not something i enjoyed! lol then first period i just wrote in my journal becuase i am now behind. oh well! second period was very boring, we found out about our cultural experience and im like dang man i havent even gone to mine and i dont know what im going to do! lol oh well! third period once again we just sat around for a few and then we learned some new stuff. lunch was pretty boring nothing really cool happened. fourth period we had pictures which was fun.. i guess. lol then we came back into class and i went and sat by sarah and thomas and we talked pretty much the entire period and it was just funny. fifth period i presented my project so hopefully i did good, then the rest was just really boring. sixth oh man im so sick of that class you have no idea. i have exactly ZERO pictures for the homecoming page and im just sick of all the crap and drama that goes along with yearbook staff. wtf.. lol me brittany and kara were just talking the whole period really. so then we had dance team after school. so chelsey found out about tim and alex and she went off on alex today at lunch and made alex start to cry. i was like wtf i mean i know alex was in the wrong but dont be a bitch to her. and then everyone was going up to her (chelsey) and was saying that she needed to be bitching out tim cause he made the first move. goodness so then dance team started and then we decided we need a fundraiser! guess what we're doing? we're having a black and white affair. oh man isnt that exciting? i sure thought so. and then we decided that we want to make up a new hip-hop for the next football game so we worked on that. zach brought us his cds and we looked through those. we decied we wanna be shaking our booty's throughout the dance which is something we dont ever do. so we are all really excited. and i think we're wearing shorts and some tall socks (props to brianna!:D) so then i came home and i found out that i get to go see my car tomorrow and i get it next TUESDAY! oh man am i pumped! so then i worked on some math homework and then i went to drop of pep rally pictures and then i went tanning ang then i went to pick up dinner - all alone. whoa it was really cool, like ME time! i get to do it again in like 10 min! lol im watching "so you think you can dance" oh i LOVE IT!! welp im outt! hollaa... :D
stephanie kathleen_spepanie
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| something worth fighting for.. |
[ | |
9/27/05 - 9:10 pm
| | ] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
annoyed |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
mom bitchin |
] |
nathan : as far as I'm concerned, Shaw was a punk. cuz you know what? Tragedies happen. What are you gonna do? Giveup? Quit? No. I realize now that whenyour heart breaks you gotta fight like hell you make sure you're still alive. And that pain you feel? That's life. The confusion and fear? That's there to remind you that somewhere out there is something better and that something is worth fighting for.
I was watching one tree hill today and came across this quote.. isnt it the truth. when things get tough its so easy to just give up, quit. but you cant you just cant. you need to fight for it - that is if it's worth it. so that was part of my deep thought of the day.
I ended up staying home because allison was sick last night and said we would be really late or whatever. but after school let out i talked to thomas and found out that i'm the first to present tomorrow, which is super gay. i dont know how that is going to go - i hate it.. grr! lol well as of yesterday I am offically a licensed driver, how exciting. but I dont have a car. not for awhile at least and i really need it. im soo sick of this ride situation that ive had for like 4+ years! goodness. so now my mom is bitching at me in the backround and i am about to smack her. damn she pisses me off. but i really need to hoop in the shower cause i feel soo dirrty.. lol. peace yall
<3 stephanie
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| not so broken |
[ | |
9/26/05 - 11:56 pm
| | ] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 peaceful |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
silence |
] |
me and mitch are back together.. enough said - i can breath again.
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| heartbroken |
[ | |
9/25/05 - 9:49 am
| | ] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
depressed |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
my sobs |
] |
i made a mistake, this mistake has ruined my life. mitch broke up with me last night, for good. i dont know what im going to do. i have to work today and then i think im going to try and talk to him some more. i want to be with him more than anything. i feel like dying, i have nothing now. the love of my life, the only person who ever treated me the way i wanted to be treated is gone. its like im a empty soul in a body, i feel lifeless. i care about nothing anymore. everything means nothing to me now. here are some lyrics that just make me break down..
we belong together
I didn't mean it
When I said I didn't love you, so
I should have held on tight
I never shoulda let you go
I didn't know nothing
I was stupid, I was foolish
I was lying to myself
I could not fathom that I would ever
Be without your love
Never imagined I'd be
Sitting here beside myself
Cause I didn't know you
Cause I didn't know me
But I thought I knew everything
I never felt
The feeling that I'm feeling
Now that I don't hear your voice
Or have your touch and kiss your lips
Cause I don't have a choice
Oh, what I wouldn't give
To have you lying by my side
Right here, cause baby
(We belong together)
[chorus]
When you left I lost a part of me
It's still so hard to believe
Come back baby, please
Cause we belong together
Who else am I gon' lean on
When times get rough
Who's gonna talk to me on the phone
Till the sun comes up
Who's gonna take your place
There ain't nobody better
Oh, baby baby, we belong together
I can't sleep at night
When you are on my mind
Bobby Womack's on the radio
Saying to me
"If you think you're lonely now"
Wait a minute
This is too deep (too deep)
I gotta change the station
So I turn the dial
Trying to catch a break
And then I hear Babyface
"I only think of you"
And it's breaking my heart
I'm trying to keep it together
But I'm falling apart
I'm feeling all out of my element
I'm throwing things, crying
Trying to figure out
Where the hell I went wrong
The pain reflected in this song
It ain't even half of what
I'm feeling inside
I need you
Need you back in my life, baby
[chorus]
When you left I lost a part of me
It's still so hard to believe
Come back baby, please
Cause we belong together
Who else am I gon' lean on
When times get rough
Who's gonna talk to me on the phone
Till the sun comes up
Who's gonna take your place
There ain't nobody better
Oh, baby baby, we belong together, baby
[chorus]
When you left I lost a part of me
It's still so hard to believe
Come back baby, please
Cause we belong together
Who am I gonna lean on
When times get rough
Who's gonna talk to me
Till the sun comes up
Who's gonna take your place
There ain't nobody better
Oh baby, baby
We belong together
here without you
A hundred days have made me older
Since the last time that I saw your pretty face
A thousand laughs have made me colder
And I don’t think I can look at this the same
But all the miles just separate
They disappear now when I’m dreaming of your face
I’m here without you baby
But your still on my lonely mind
I think about you baby
And I dream about you all the time
I’m here without you baby
But your still with me in my dreams
And tonight
It’s only you and me
The miles just keep rolling
As the people leave their way to say hello
I've heard this life is overrated
But I hope that it gets better as we go
I’m here without you baby
But your still on my lonely mind
I think about you baby
And I dream about you all the time
I’m here without you baby
Your still with me in my dreams
And tonight girl
It’s only you and me
Everything I know
And anywhere I go
It gets hard but it won’t take away my love
And when the last one falls
When it’s all said and done
It gets hard but it won’t take away my love
I’m here without you baby
But your still on my lonely mind
I think about you baby
And I dream about you all the time
I’m here without you baby
But your still with me in my dreams
And tonight girl
It’s only you and me
you'll think of me
I woke up early this morning around 4 a.m.
With the moon shining bright as headlights on the interstate
I pulled the covers over my head and tried to catch some sleep
But thoughts of us kept keeping me awake
Ever since you found yourself in someone else's arms
I've been trying my best to get along
But that's okay there's nothing left to say but.
Chorus:
Take your records, take your freedom
Take your memories, I don't need 'em
Take your space and take your reasons
But you'll think of me
And take your cat and leave my sweater
'Cause we have nothing left to weather
In fact I'll feel a whole lot better
But you'll think of me, you'll think of me.
I went out driving, trying to clear my head
I tried to sweep out all the ruins that my emotions left
I guess I'm feeling just a little tired of this
And all the baggage that seems to still exist
It seems the only blessing I have left to my name
Is not knowing what we could have been
What we should have been.
So.
Chorus:
Take your records, take your freedom
Take your memories, I don't need 'em
Take your space and take your reasons
But you'll think of me
And take your cat and leave my sweater
'Cause we have nothing left to weather
In fact I'll feel a whole lot better
But you'll think of me.
Someday I'm gonna run across your mind
Don't worry, I'll be fine
I'm gonna be alright
While you're sleeping with your pride
Wishing I could hold you tight
I'll be over you
And on with my life.
Chorus:
Take your records, take your freedom
Take your memories, I don't need 'em
And take your cat and leave my sweater
'Cause we have nothing left to weather
In fact I'll feel a whole lot better
But you'll think of me.
Chorus:
Take your records, take your freedom
Take your memories, I don't need 'em
Take your space and all your reasons
But you'll think of me
And take your cat and leave my sweater
'Cause we have nothing left to weather
In fact I'll feel a whole lot better
But you'll think of me, you'll think of me.
And you're gonna think of me
Oh, someday baby, someday...
gosh there are millions, but these are the first that came to my mind right now. i need to talk to mitch, i need to make things right. i can not go on without him. i dont know what to do anymore. i cant breath.
</3
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| mental breakdown |
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9/21/05 - 7:10 pm
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mood |
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crushed |
] |
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music |
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i have no idea |
] |
i am about to have a mental breakdown..
1. hwk - teachers are piling it on.
2. me and mitch ordeal - certian ppl understand why.
3. dance team - we haven't got to practice but this should be situated by tomorrow.
4. me and mitch ordeal - this never leaves my mind. i need some serious help..
(off to go do some hwk) <3 love always stephanie
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| anna pippin got her ass kick this weekend by samantha willman - brianna and emily (shouting) |
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9/19/05 - 10:37 pm
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mood |
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content |
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music |
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evensance_my immortal |
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Today was pretty normal, but im trying to write in here everyday (knock on wood) so here goes. First period: nothing really, Emily finally decided to come back to school so I had my love there by my side. Well we decide to do twin day together. Second period: we performed our dances, pats dad came and he was taking pictures! Man I was hilarious, me and Brittany were cracking up. So we go back to the classroom and I find out Tim is not having a party after homecoming but Anna is, I was like uh no. and it was really funny cause Brianna and Brittany was like NO!! haha Third period: nothing really we workd on our lab. Michelle was telling me how she had a horrible day yesterday and I was like if I had a band aid I would give it to you (for her broken heart) and so I quietly made one on paper and she was like aw and taped it to her journal and wrote around it “How to mend a broken heart.. Make a band aid of love” aww precious. Lunch: Me and Sarah talked a lot about Friday night and how effing pimp it was and how we are ALL doing it again! :D and then I went back to the lunch table and Me, Bri, Emily and Dallas were talking about the whole fight.. Oh yeah for the record Anna Pippin got beat up by Samantha Willman! Haha had to put that for my girl Bri! <3 Fourth period: always fun. You know sameo really. It was a little strange after Friday like when I went up or whenever Tim would see me he’d be like where were you at Friday!? And all this stuff. Fifth period: fun, it was funny cause at one moment we were like all sleeping. And then me and bri just talked about our weekend plans! Man im pumped! Sixth period: I did the computer calendar and then I left for the doctor’s. when I got home from the doctors Emily came over and we went to Wal-Mart to get stuff for our shirts their black and have our initials on the front and the back says “Emily and Steph” with bingo chips! Haha it is really funny. Then she had to go home and then that’s how im here. Im leaving comments on all kindsa ppl’s myspaces! But I have to go to bed! Much Love aLWays!
<3 steph
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9/18/05 - 9:17 pm
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mood |
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exhausted |
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music |
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mY efFiNg sONg-MY HUMPS_bLaCk eYEd pEaZ! |
] |
what a weekend. must say that i loved it. friday was the best then satday was awesome fun to and then sunday was just funny. okay well satruday. plans kinda fell through i called in for work as you know from my last journal. well then i layed around the house. me and brooke got to talking and we were like we wanna do something tonight too! so it takes us forever to figure out something. soon enough shes over my house and we're trying to work something out. she lost her phone so we still needed to find it. well we call tim and we're like can we come look up at your house and your car. he says yeah so we head over there. pat and micheal are over there so we chill there for a bit and i take two beers from him (shoulda took like 5) haha so then we decided to go up to macdonalds to look for brookes phone in jenns car and we stayed and ate something. well we ended up finding the phone in the car which made brooke very very happy. hilarious. then we went to skyline to pick up her check! funny well alex and them were at the movies and we were gunna wait for them but we didnt. well then we tried to go vist nick but right when we got there his rents got home which was really really gay. so we left and came back home. she chilled here for a bit and then she went back to her dads. well a few later brad comes over to look at mitchs art piece. well we're all chilling there and pat calls up brad and is like can i stay over. well he comes over and brings some beers. well pat is already pretty drunk, so he wantd like three more beers.. brad wanted one.. and then the two i had earlier i gave to mitch. so i didnt get to drink which was gay but it was fun just seeing mitch brad and pat drunk. well brad wasnt and mitch wasnt but pat was funny. making me laugh. so then they finally left and me and mitch went to sleep.
i had to wake up early on sunday morning i had my dance group over. brittany got lost and it was really funny. so brittany and nick finally get ther adn we have to go to brads to wake up pat. he finally gets up adnwe go to mcdonalds that was funny in itself. this dude said something to pat he was like you were innocent once. lol so pat was like what the fuck. so he tells the manager on him and she goes and yells at him. whoa funny times. then we go home and we workd on our dance. well i ended up not having to work which was very convient. so then they left, then we took pat home. that car mitch wanted was sold so i felt really really bad for him. so then we came back home i showerd and then we went to the mall. then we shopped around a bit then we came home well i was effing tired so i fell alseep. and now im here about to work on some homework! dude i cant wait till this weekend i think were all going over tims again for another party after homecoming! which is fucking pimp. i can not wait. but i have to do some hwk.. ill talk to yall later! peace
spepanie.. i love it
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| you might have a good time but we patry harder .. :D |
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9/17/05 - 3:33 pm
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mood |
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crushed |
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music |
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like you - bow wow and ciara |
] |
What a wild effing night. I loved every minute of it but then I also hated it because mitch wasn’t there to share any of it with me. So we stay after school and help the cheerleaders again which was just a bunch of bs and I had to leave at like 4:15 and they hadn’t even started teaching us the dances. So I left then I came home and started getting ready for homecoming. Well there was a bit of drama so I was pissed off and I was like whatever yada yada. So anyways around 6:30 I went over brooke’s house and me her and Jennifer C. took pictures. Their so cute ill put some on my myspace and some on my yahoo site. So then we finally left. Me and Brooke figured out her father is a damn genius. so anyways we leave for logans and then we find out that jessicas mom found out about sun valley so she is grounded for like 3 weeks and her mom was like if you would have just told me then i would have let you go. crazy. so anyways so we eat our yummy food and just chat it up. later on we find out that micheal and tim were racing and micheal rammed into a brick wall sign. robert was in the car and when we met up with them later you could see this huge bruise from the seat belt so if he wouldnt have had that seatbelt on then he would have went right through that window into the wall. effing crazy. so anyways then we went to the dance. it was so much fun. like me and brooke got in the center and were dancing our asses off and it was soo much fun! we were sweating so much and it was so hot you had to like step out of the gym or you would like over heat! haha but it was really really funny. everyone was running around like no one was in the same place. me and brooke kept losing each other but man it was so much fun. i loved it!! prps is going to be like that-hopefully better!!
so we come home to change and leave to meet up everyone. well mitch decided not to go which really put a damper in my night. so we finally meet up with them at prp and like everyone is up there. we get out of the car and nick was like "finally brooke and stephanie. yes!!" lol so he was like yeah we get to party tonight and we were like yeah. well by the time we get there were chilling and then two fucking cops came in so we were like shit so we all split up! then me meet up at white castle. a load of ppl were there. me brooke jenn c alex alex kayla brianna christy sarah chelsey tim zach evan nick troy .. and then like dallas spencer pat f and couple of them were there for awhile then we decided to go to paint ball asylum. wow that was out in the boonies. so we finally get there. were all chilling there and then me brooke sarah and christy decided we had to piss. but no toliet paper. so we take some paper from chelseys backpack and we go pee. well there are these like auto lights well we go back behind all this stuff so no one sees us and then the effing light comes on and we were like great!! haha so anyway then the guys were throwing rocks at this car and then we window busted so we were outta there. then we went back to sun valley.. well me bri and christyhad to pee again. so we go behind this bush and we see everyone coming over to us so we're like shit and go around it. then we finally leave and go to tims house. oh man he has all these kittens they are soo cute. so i was tired a fuck so me brianna robert and nick layed down. robert was telling us about the car wreck like he was still in pain and we were all scrunched on the bed and i was like robert you should lay down so i go on the floor and so does nick to give them some room. then we woke up around 7 something ish and we were in bed at like 3:45ish. it was really funny. so then tim took me brooke troy alex alex and kayla home. i was stuck in the back the the speaker was on my ass and thigh and it was killing me but it was really funny. so now im at home i didnt go to work because i didnt feel good. no i was not hung over i had like nothing like a lil bit of vodka from troy at wc and then about 3/4 a beer at paint ball asylum and then maybe like 4 shots of heaven hill vodka (the effing worst shit ever) so i mean i wasnt smashed i was between drunk and tipsy.
well mitch calls me this morning and is like hey and we're talking but im not talking much cause i dont want my mom to hear or something like that. so he was like did you do something you shouldnt have done and i was like no. which is true. yeah i flirted some but not on purpose. and so he was like ima go. --pause-- then i say i missed you -- longer pause-- and he was like i missed you too --ppaauussee-- then i said i love you --loooonger pause-- and he was like love you too. i dont know why it hurt but like i was really really upset about it all. i dont know what to do, tonight we're going to the ballet which should be fun i can't wait i just hope he isnt mad at me. but i have to load these pics then we gotta pick up mitch. i can't wait to see him i really do miss him loads. its crazy, im madly in love.
<3 stephanie
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| get crrunnk - chris |
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9/15/05 - 10:30 pm
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mood |
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:D :D |
] |
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music |
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mitch's lovely voice |
] |
today was pretty eventful.. well maybe not bu enough for me! uh so first period - normal my sleeping period.. haha emily is still sick which really sucks but she will in fact be coming to school tomorrow, so that is fricking awesome cause i miss my emily. second man i have soo much fun with my dancing group! we have to get together this weekend and work on our second poem. so that should be buckets of fun!! :D third mrs ising is still sick, poor lil thing. i feel so bad for her. all we did really was sit and talk. lunch.. not the same no emily, or thomas (his gay ass in is san deigo) but me, brianna, and dallas just chatted. fourth nothing really we had a vocab test which i hope i did good on, if not ill die. well nick and tim decided to make this list of 20 hottest girls in the school.. i got 15. man i felt/feel like about the uglyest person ever. like i think a lot of "poplular girls" at our school arent pretty at all, but since everyone knows them and they got in good freshman year they are automatically hot and im just like oh well. i dont care about guys at prp anyway, their all fools. so fifth i finally got to hear chris say "get crrunk" and it makes me laugh so much. i think im going to record it tomorrow! :D haha so we had a open responce today to so that wasnt to hard. sixth i went and sat in braunys room to pay my new york deposit and all kindsa other stuff. it was really fun. one of the twins (luke i think) was in there. hes cute but i like eric better. i know eric! haha oh well so dance team was really fun but helping the cheerleaders really wasnt! haha
i am soo pumped about tomorrow! ok.. i have to help the cheerleaders again tomorrow til 4 then i go home and get ready for bths's homecoming and go to brookes around 7:05ish then we go out to eat with kayla and all them around 8ish and then we go to the dance. i dance my heart out.. YAY can not wait.. and oh the fun does not stop there. me and brooke have to take home adam then we're going to tims party with a bunch of our ridge friends and we're getting drunk. alex is my drinking buddy. man i love it and i cant wait. well im out cause i have to be at 7 tomorrow to sale doughnuts! sucks. im out.. peace love! call me tomorrow :D
steph and mitch always (5 month is tomorrow)\
oh yeah btw.. i did something for mitch for our 5 months, but i think its dumb so if you wanna kno ill tell you on aim (br0k3n te4rs x3)
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| you shut up thats my girl out there - elise |
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9/14/05 - 11:25 pm
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mood |
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eyes drooping |
] |
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music |
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iming dinging |
] |
man oh man.. i feel so overwhelmed but man.. im loving life. kinda sorta! oh yeah i have to tell yall this i found out that my little sophoies went to tims party! tors got effing shit faced and threw up everywhere. so now were all going to go get drunk together cause i mean we are already like the pimpest girls around when were straight .. well be hilarious if were drunk.. man i LOVE it. so me and brooke are going to some party after the dance i dont know where but im getting drunk.. yeah boy. i am a acholic and i love it - lol dale! :D uh what else.. brandi told me that when i was drunk i said soemthing about having sex with her.. man we were laughing about that for awhile. ok me and elise are talking online right now and i just have to put this cause im laughin so hard im about to pee in my pants!! :D
bLoNdiE1907 (11:30:18PM): haha yeah and everyone will come up to me and be like SHUT UP YOURE SO ANNOYING and ill be like YOU SHUT UP THATS MY GIRL OUT THERE.
dude.. thats my elise.. EFFING HILARIOUS. so tomorrow i have to stay after school til 6:00 i was like goodness gracisious.. lol can not spell. well im about to get off here. i will try try to write more later. but when i get home mitch is on XI and im like wtf.. let me get on LJ and myspace i need them.. haha well im out! cyall around <3 steph
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| effing hilarious |
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9/13/05 - 10:59 pm
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mood |
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tried, stressed |
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my day was.. really really GOOD! isnt that amazing.. well ill start at first period. my frist big bummer of the day was emily wasnt there! i was like wtf? i need my emily! so that was a sucking being of the day. but then by second period i was hyper as could be. we were in the semminar room and we was dancing. oh man nick and pat were cracking me up i thought i was gunna die.. whoa! so we did some of our dance and it is the SHiT aint no ones better!! haha anyways third period oh man me and kayleigh were rolling we had this CRAZY sub, it was funny justin was trying to get him to leave.. very very funny. lunch - sameo really fourth we reviewed tsl. fifth we had a quiz but i found out that.. our POM UNIFORMS CAME IN.. oh that about made my day then six .. oh it was the HIGHLIGHT OF MY DAY - ill tell you later i just need to be reminded of .. BrAUnY..PiC dAy..tApE..MiRrOr.. EFFING HILARIOUS!
well im really tried, and stressed. id say that im ready for bed. cyAz
steph
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faded_memory_x3's journal
